Podcast #326: Why Boys Are Struggling & What We Can Do To Help Them | The Art of Manliness

While there’s been a big push in recent decades to help girls thrive in school and in the workplace, boys in America have quietly been struggling. For example, boys are more likely to have learning and discipline issues in school and are less likely to graduate high school than girls, more women are now attending college than men and are earning more bachelors and masters degrees than men, the incarceration rate for boys has increased in the past few decades, and suicide rates have increased among teenage boys. What’s more, teachers and therapists have reported that boys seem increasingly disengaged from school and life. If boys are having so much trouble, why don’t we hear more about it? And more importantly, what can we do as parents, teachers, and mentors to help them? My guest today has spent his career researching childhood development and helping boys become fulfilled men. His name is Michael Gurian, and in his latest book, Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys, he provides insights on why America’s boy problem is ignored, as well as concrete steps that parents and mentors can take to help these young men grow up well. Today on the show, Michael explains what the “Dominant Gender Paradigm” is and why it causes institutions to ignore the problems of boys and young men, what people get wrong about male violence, and what male anhedonia is. He then argues that if we want to help boys (and girls) we need to approach things from what he calls a “Nature Based Theory,” which recognizes that while boys and girls have a lot in common, there are biological differences that influence the way boys learn, socialize, and behave. Michael then provides concrete things parents and schools can do to cater to these differences in boys to help them thrive and become resilient men. If you’re the parent of boy or if you teach or mentor young boys, you don’t want to miss this episode. Show Highlights Why do boys need saving? The ways in which boys are falling behind girls in academics, health, and more Why the unique problems of boys are often ignored What is the dominant gender paradigm (DGP)? The nature based theory of gender, and how sex and gender are different things The differences between the male and female brain Why girls and boys require different strategies in parenting How do males nurture differently than women? What is male anhedonia? How neurotoxins affect boys, and how they’re brought about How schools are failing boys, and how to know if a school is boy-friendly How to constructively help schools and teachers be more boy-friendly The benefits of competition for boys How college campuses have become unfriendly for males How screen time and video games are especially dangerous for young boys The ways you can turn video games into assets Follow us! https://ift.tt/YAd15k http://twitter.com/artofmanliness

Podcast #325: Leading Quietly | The Art of Manliness

When we think of being a good leader, we often think we need to be a bold, visionary, risk-taking type like Winston Churchill, Theodore Roosevelt, or Steve Jobs. But my guest today argues that most of the day-to-day work that makes the world function is done by individuals who stand outside the limelight and lead with calm confidence. His name is Joseph Badaracco and he’s the author of the book Leading Quietly: An Unorthodox Guide to Doing the Right Thing. Today on the show, Joe and I discuss the heroic archetype of leadership, why most leadership development books and courses focus on it, and why heroic leadership can actually get in the way of an organization’s success. He then shares the qualities of a quiet leader and why they’re often more effective than heroic leaders at getting things done in an organization. We end our conversation by exploring the Aristotelian approach to leadership that most quiet leaders utilize and how you can start using those same principles today in your work, community, and family. Show Highlights Why do we see leaders as heroic, on-the-front-lines types of people? How can heroic leadership get in the way of progress? How quiet leaders are different from heroic leaders The scenarios in which quiet leadership is the better model, and vice versa The importance of pragmatic realism in leadership, and how to build that skill How to remain realistic without falling into cynicism The myth of the angelic motives of quiet leaders and why it’s okay to be selfish with your career Why honing your managerial — that is, quiet — skills is important Lincoln’s creative political maneuver that displayed quiet leadership Why everyone should know the value of compromise, and how to do it The role of rule-bending and flexibility in leadership The 3 quiet virtues of leadership Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast The Essential Qualities of Leadership Podcast: How Leaders Build Great Teams 5 Traits of True Leadership Want People to Hear Your Message? Let Them Overhear It Quit Being a Pushover: How to Be Assertive Black letter law Elon Musk by Ashlee Vance Follow us! https://ift.tt/YAd15k http://twitter.com/artofmanliness

Podcast #324: An Intro to F3 | The Art of Manliness

If you’re like many modern men, you might have a pretty good life — a decent job, a family, a home, maybe a few hobbies. Despite having the appearance of a good life, though, you feel kind of empty inside. Like you’re missing something. My guests today would argue that what you’ve got is a case of Sad Clown Syndrome and to get over it, you need to get together with some men and do some burpees. Their names are Dave Redding and Tim Whitmire and they’re the leaders of a grassroots movement bringing men together for free workouts called F3, which stands for Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith. According to them, they’ve seen tens of thousands of men not only get physically in shape by attending F3 workouts, but reenergize themselves mentally and spiritually. Today on the show, Dave and Tim share the origins of F3 and how they realized it was solving the problem of Sad Clown Syndrome in the lives of American men. They then detail what the symptoms of Sad Clown Syndrome are, and how exactly F3 acts as a remedy. We then discuss why male friends are so important in a man’s life and why the typical guys that men call friends aren’t really friends. We end our conversation by discussing what the 3 Fs in F3 mean, including why the “Faith” component is more about having a purpose beyond yourself and less about religion. Show Highlights What F3 stands for and what they do What a typical F3 workout looks like The origins of F3 When Tim and Dave knew they had more than just a men’s workout going on What Sad Clown Syndrome is and why so many American men are suffering from it How F3 solves the three problems of Sad Clown Syndrome The type of “friends” most men have and why they won’t help you become a better man Why men need “aggressive nurturing” Why the “ant-hero” is so attractive to men with Sad Clown Syndrome, but it’s just an unfulfilling fantasy What F3 means when they talk about faith Why men need a purpose beyond themselves And much more! Follow us! https://ift.tt/YAd15k http://twitter.com/artofmanliness

Podcast #323: Improve Your Breathing, Improve Your Health | The Art of Manliness

Take a breath right now. Did your chest go up and down? Congratulations, you just failed at breathing. Don’t worry, my guest today on the show will set you straight. Her name is Belisa Vranich. She’s a clinical psychologist who has made a career re-training people on how to breathe correctly and in her latest book, Breathe, she provides a step-by-step program to help people breathe better. Today on the show, Belisa explains all the ill health and psychological effects of poor breathing, like increased stress, poor sleep, poor mental function, and even poor digestion, as well as why so many people mess up this seemingly simple and automatic bodily process. She then walks listeners through how to take a proper breath and even shares some exercises you can do to train yourself to breathe better and improve your all-around health. This is an extremely practical podcast, and you’re going to feel great after you do the breathing exercises Belisa lays out. Show Highlights Health issues that can result from poor breathing The ways we screw up our breathing Vertical vs horizontal breathing A simple exercise to test if you’re breathing correctly How poor breathing leads to poor sleep The relationship between our breathing and stress A primer on our breathing muscles The age where kids adopt poor breathing techniques Posture and breathing The breathing cues we can take from animals Why you should be “belly breathing” Exercises to improve your breathing How you’re exhaling wrong, and how to do it right A primer on your pelvic floor, and its importance in breathing How breathing affects your digestion What is an ideal breathing cadence? Follow us! https://ift.tt/YAd15k http://twitter.com/artofmanliness

Podcast #322: Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong | The Art of Manliness

We all know those collective maxims on success: nice guys finish last; it’s not what you know, it’s who you know; winners never quit. We’ve heard them so often that we accept them as articles of faith. But are they really true? My guest today says, yes…and no. His name is Eric Barker and he’s the author of one of the few blogs I regularly read: Barking Up the Wrong Tree. There, he takes a look at what actual research says about these tried-and-true maxims of success and provides a nuanced, often counterintuitive look at them. He’s recently taken some of his best writing from 8 years at the blog, expanded on it, and turned it into a book by the same name. Today on the show, Eric and I discuss why most of the ideas we have about success are wrong and what we can do to be better advice sleuths. Eric shares research that shows why high school valedictorians are less likely to become millionaires or influential leaders, and what that teaches us on the importance of knowing ourselves. He then breaks down the idea that nice guys always finish last, and how it’s both true and false at the same time. We then discuss why grit can sometimes be overrated and why winners in fact always quit. We end our conversation discussing why being a glad-handing extrovert can both garner success and sew the seeds of failure, and how the idea of work/life balance is making people more miserable than ever, as well as what you can do about it. Lots of fascinating tidbits in this show that you can implement right away to improve your life. Plenty of great cocktail party fodder as well. Show Highlights The uneven distribution of information regarding questions about success and happiness Why is so much information on the internet wrong? And why do people keep consuming it? Why blanket, generalized advice is so misleading The power of doubling down on your strengths vs trying to improve your weaknesses Why valedictorians are less likely to become high-powered leaders Why the world still needs people who follow the rules and aren’t “cool” Do nice guys really finish last? The two things we ask ourselves when meeting new people, and how that impacts our interactions Is grit overrated? Strategic quitting — how to know when to give something up WOOP — Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan The real importance of networking How extraversion can hurt your career Work-life balance — the unhealthy sacrifices of the uber-successful Why 30-somethings are more miserable today than they were a generation ago Follow us! https://ift.tt/YAd15k http://twitter.com/artofmanliness

Podcast #321: How to Think About Money | The Art of Manliness

Personal finance can seem intimidating, but the reality is it’s pretty basic — save more than you spend, find ways to earn more, invest for the long-term, and protect your assets. But if personal finance is so easy, why do so many people screw it up? My guest today has spent his career exploring this topic. His name is Jonathan Clements and he’s been The Wall Street Journal’s personal finance columnist for years. During his writing career, he’s also published several popular personal finance books including The Little Book of Main Street Money. In his latest book, How to Think About Money, Jonathan distills decades of personal finance experience into punchy, insightful, and action-oriented advice. Today on the show, Jonathan and I discuss the most common money mistakes people make and the psychological biases that cause us to make them. Jonathan then shares research-backed advice on how money can buy you happiness…and also misery. Just depends on how you use it. He then delves into brass tacks tips on how to save for retirement no matter how old you are, how to overcome your psychological biases so you don’t make stupid money mistakes, and why focusing on not losing money will help you have more money in the long run. Lots of actionable advice to enhance your finances in this episode. Show Highlights Why do people get so confused when it comes to personal finance? How our brain hurts us in the realm of money The 3 instincts we have that hurt our finances How to rewire our brains and overcome those instincts Investment strategies for those who don’t have much time or know-how How your investing strategy should change as you age What are annuities? How they can help as you get closer to retirement? How the fact of people living longer changes investments and retirement How money actually can buy happiness The value of experiences over stuff How small purchases can you make you happier over time The financial importance of enjoying your life and what you do Winning in investments by not losing What you need to know about insurance Follow us! https://ift.tt/YAd15k http://twitter.com/artofmanliness

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